Because ...

Because my father asked me this weekend if I had blogged lately ...

Because I made this salad last night while I was trying to multi-task and make a Father's Day feast of pancakes and bacon.  (Oh yes, we believe in brinner at Casa de Mahannah.)

Because a friend of mine reminded me how OBSESSED I was last summer with iced coffee. (Oh wow ... strike that.  I made this in 2011.  Where does the time go?)

Oh wait - where does the time go?  It goes here ...

10 months old!

And here ...

Visiting Uncle Chuck's bookstore.

Time looks ahead to the fall when our family of three will expand to a family of four ...

Life is good. :)

There was a time ...

... when I thought that I wouldn't get pregnant.  My body seemed to conspire against me.  And although I found myself saying from time-to-time that it would be OK if I didn't have children, I found myself going through the baby clothes section in Target and finding outfits that I would buy on clearance and hoard away in the event that my ship came in.

A year ago, I was unaware that I was gestating a little bean that is now an ornery, snuggling, teething, drooling, smiley, lovable little hunk of boy named Ian.  He has his daddy's eyes and his mommy's temper.  And both parents enchanted with his "miles and miles of smiles."

And those little outfits weren't bought in vain.

Why yes, this is a Pink Floyd onesie.  Why do you ask?

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a date to kiss those lovable little cheeks ad nauseum.

I remember ...

Motherhood has taught me a few new tricks.  One of them is how to balance my sleeping two-month-old on my abdomen while I type.  (Full disclosure:  I'm a huge proponent of getting my kid to sleep in places other than on me or his dad.  This is about the time that I'd sneak him into his car seat or to his crib for the 20 minute naps that he's famous for.  But the kid had his two-month vaccinations today.  I want to keep him close by.  And I'm in love with his dear little face.)

Motherhood has also made me unaccountably sappy.  We'll blame this on post-natal hormones compounded with sore nipples and sleeplessness.  Stupid things impact me and make me want to cry.  Letters like this or this.  Marines who help people with prosthetics.  High school athletes who show the real meaning of sportsmanship.  Idiots in Anoka.

OK - the Anoka thing made me want to hurl.  But I digress.

I'm aware of a lot of the world's shenangians and sappy moments because of Facebook.  When I'm not chuckling over the latest meme posted by George Takei or reposting some liberal cartoon that draws the ire of my conservative friends, it seems like a lot of the items that my friends are posting are usually in support of marriage equality. 

Today's National Coming Out Day and I've come out in support of my friends' right to marry whoever the hell they want to regardless of gender.  That should surprise no one.  Tomorrow is another "day" of sorts - a day that actually got me on my path of outspoken activism.  Tomorrow marks the 14th anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death. 

1998.  I would have been a junior at Luther College.  At least one of my dear friends had come out by that time. There was no way to know that over a decade later, I'd meet another man who would come out and that this person would become one of my best friends in the entire planet. 

I live in a world where my secular, liberal self has a hard time with the roadblocks that are in the way of my gay friends.  I think that the Minnesota marriage amendment that is on the upcoming ballot is a shameless piece of political posturing that has been introduced by some idiot who is simply seeking re-election.

My argument is flawed but over the past few months, I had a weird revelation.  For the politicians who so stridently decry the impact that gay marriage will have on "traditional" society, I say that it's pretty easy to be against something that will never impact you as a person.

One of the reasons that I am so outspoken about gay rights is because Matthew Shepard's death was a turning point in my life.  The brutality of his murder made a lot of people wake up - I was one of them.  And not because of the fight for equality.  I woke up and began to speak out because there was a part of me that could substitute Matthew's baby face for any one of my friends who had come out in the small Midwestern college that we called home.  What if someone tried to hurt my friend Dan?  No one would do that - no one would hurt someone just because he was gay.  Right?  Right?

As I wrote on my Facebook wall: "I remember the horror and grief that I felt for this man and his family. And I remember the fear I felt for my friends who had come out. And I promised myself that I would raise my voice in solidarity for my friends and decry the hate and violence that ended this young man's life. I remember."

I raise my voice because I believe that love is love, regardless of whether it's between a heterosexual or a homosexual couple.  I raise my voice to fight against the violence that still occurs today. 

I raise my voice - albeit quietly - because I can imagine that Matthew Shepard's mother once balanced her boy carefully on her abdomen as he napped, so she could go about the work of her day.  I am sure that she loved her son's dear little face. 

End of summer and a book review!

Although we have most of September until fall is officially upon us, a lot of my fellow food bloggers have been lamenting the "end of summer" with seasonal recipes that take advantage of our gardens' last hurrah of produce.

Although I always love to see these recipes and this commentary - this year has me scratching my head.  Where the hell did this year go?  Oh wait - I was pregnant for the majority of this year.  While my contemporaries have been plotting out how to use the last of the tomatoes of summer, I've been trying to decode my newborn ... I mean - my one-month-old son.  Where did the past month go?

Anyway - one of the "projects" on my to-do list that got shuffled to the wayside while waiting for my little bean was a review of J.T. Ellison's "A Deeper Darkness." 

Full confession - Ms. Ellison sent me a copy of her book to review ... oh - a few months ago.  And I finished reading the book and writing the review ... a few months ago.  But I'm just getting to publishing my review now.  Sigh.

J.T. Ellison first came on the literary scene in 2007 with "All the Pretty Girls," a novel that introduced the reading world to Lt. Taylor Jackson, a tough cookie of a homicide detective located in Nashville, Tennessee.  As the narrative into Jackson's world increased, readers have been introduced to recurring characters like John Baldwin, Jackson's love interest, and Jackson's childhood friend Dr. Sam Owens, a medical examiner.

In "A Deeper Darkness" (released this April by Mira books, a Harlequin imprint), Dr. Owens takes center stage, a couple of years after a devastating flood decimates her entire world.  To cope with the loss of her family, Sam has buried herself into her work - building a fragile, yet failing, refuge that is shattered when she gets a phone call from the mother of an old flame.  Eddie Donovan, her first love, has been murdered - will Sam perform a secondary autopsy?

The storyline that follows establishes Ellison's prowess as a storyteller who infuses her stories and characters with a mind boggling amount of realism and research.  The questions the reader encounters are plausible: If Eddie Donovan was killed by a car jacker, what were the circumstances leading up to his murder?  How are subsequent murders investigated by DC Homicide Detective Darren Fletcher related? The case uncovered unwittingly by Sam Owens leads her back to the past - a seemingly cut and dried friendly fire incident in Afghanistan that returned Eddie Donovan to the U.S. a changed man.

A reader does not need to be familiar with the world of Taylor Jackson to pick up "A Deeper Darkness."  That is part of Ellison's genius as a writer - Sam Owens emerges as a fully formed character worthy of her own series of books (which Ellison is working on).  "Darkness" is a tautly told thriller that keeps a reader hooked until the final, heartbreaking chapter that holds the key to Sam's guilt regarding the death of her family members.

Although the bloggers say that summer has ended - I say pshaw ... this is a perfect summer read.  And if you're like me and have a one-month-old (and a cat) vying for your attention, this book will hold until the crisp fall nights fall upon us.  And even better?  Ms. Ellison is currently giving away two copies of "Darkness" at her website.  Visit Ms. Ellison's website for details and good luck!

In the meantime ...

Waiting for a baby is kind of agonizing.  Waiting for a baby that was due on July 27th and didn't show up until August 8th? Downright challenging to one who is not known for her patience. 

However - my beloved little bean was born on August 8, 2012 - weighing in at 7 lbs, 9 oz and stretching 20 1/2 inches.  His name is Ian.  As my husband says, "he's a good guy."  We'll keep him. 

*~*~*~*~*

So ... while I was waiting for Ian - I canned salsa and bourbon cherry jam.  Because it was hot and standing over a boiling water bath while massively pregnant seemed like the thing to do to start labor.  (FYI - didn't work.  Neither did eating eggplant Parmesan.)

*~*~*~*~*

And this is the first recipe that I made post-baby.  I still have a WONDERFUL abundance of tomatoes in my garden and when I'm not blitzing them in my food processor and putting them in 2 c. portions in freezer bags, I'm trying to figure out easy ways to use them up.

*~*~*~*~*

Happy Monday!

I grow babies and tomatoes!

Well ... a baby that I'm impatiently waiting for, but the tomatoes are coming in!  And they are gorgeously abundant!

Putting my money where my mouth is ...

Thirty-five dials.  Five conversations.  Three refusals.  One yes.  One person "moved."

I spent this evening on a phone bank for the Rochester arm of Minnesotans United for All Families, talking to people about the constitutional amendment that's on the ballot in November.  The language of this ballot would be to define marriage in the Minnesota constitution as strictly between one man and one woman.

I have pretty strong opinions about this amendment and am emphatic in my efforts to encourage people to vote "NO" for this amendment.

However, there comes a time when words aren't enough.  I have the wonderful problem of surrounding myself with like-minded people.  And since I work from home, my sphere of influence is limited. 

That's why I found myself on a phone bank tonight.  That's why I found myself reading off of a script and trying to start conversations with people across southeastern Minnesota about marriage and why it's important to me as a straight, married, pregnant lady that my son will grow up in a state that will be the first of 30 states to defeat this amendment. 

For someone who hates talking on the phone - this night was tough.  There was the very sweet lady who is a member of the ELCA and has been torn by the conversations in the church.  She'll vote for the amendment, but recognizes that times will change regardless.  She wished me well on the remainder of my pregnancy.

There was the sarcastic man who talked about how gross and wrong it was for two men or two women to be married.  I thanked him for his time and hung up.

There was one woman who will vote "no" on the marriage amendment, but she really didn't have strong feelings about gay marriage.  (But hey - "no" is AWESOME in this election.)

And then there was the guy who kinda broke my heart.  The conversation started out as the man being 100% for this amendment, 100% against gay marriage.  Gay marriage is a travesty and it goes against God and the Bible.

I was ready to wrap up the call politely and hang up, but I tried another tact that we had discussed in training.

"We're not voting on the Bible," I said.  I explained that I'm secular and that at the end of the day, I cannot debate about morals, God, Bible, whatever. 

"Do you know anyone who is gay?"

"Yes," he said.  "My nephew.  And it breaks my sister's heart.  It breaks the father's heart."  But then he starts telling me about his nephew.  His nephew's partner that's "a great guy."

I told this man about my nephews - I told him about one in particular.  The 16-year-old nephew who was technically my "first" nephew from my brother's first marriage.  And although this boy is taller than me, although he's driving and although he's a star on the basketball court, I still look at him and I can see him as a three-year-old.  And how that drives my nephew absolutely nuts.  But the love that I feel for this kid who is more like a brother to me than anything else. 

My nephew is not gay, but my point was made:  "If someone told me that there was some law that stood between my nephew and his happiness, I can't fathom that," I said. 

Here's how the script ends on these phone conversations ... "now that we've had this conversation, if you had to vote tomorrow, would you vote yes for the marriage amendment or would you vote no."

This man did not know.  It was something he had to think more about. 

*~*~*~*~

There are no clear, decisive victories in phone banks.  I'm not going to call up someone who is morally opposed to gay marriage and expect them to be won over by my dulcet tones and my stunning logic.  It does not work that way.  And as I've struggled with the perception of gay marriage and how it keeps playing out in the political arena, I've made peace with the fact that there are some people that will never see my point of view.  It sucks.  It's frustrating.  I can curse, I can gnash my teeth and rave at my husband (yes, all of these things have happened), but at the end of the day - I have to pick myself up, brush myself off, and move on. 

But there are little victories.  There are people who might change their mind because of something that is said.  The ability to take gay marriage out of the abstract and make it real. 

Sometimes we are the uncles of gay men.  Sometimes there are people that we work with, that we worship with, that we went to school with ...

*~*~*~*~*~

So - considering that I'm 34 weeks pregnant, extremely uncomfortable, and that I truly hate making phone calls - why in the name of hell would I volunteer for this?  And why would I do it again?

Thirty states around the country have had similar marriage amendments go on their ballots.  Thirty states have passed these amendments.  Minnesota has the opportunity to be the first state to defeat the marriage amendment and all signs show that this is going to be a close and emotional election. 

I want to wake up on November 7th and find out that the marriage amendment failed miserably.  But in the event that it does pass (and I give serious thought about emigrating to Canada), I want to know in my heart that I did everything I could to help defeat this amendment. 

Working a phone bank took me way out of my comfort zone.  I found myself getting strength by listening to this older gentleman named Bob make phone calls across the room from me.  There was something about his raspy voice that made me feel like I wasn't alone and encouraged me to keep dialing. 


This evening was a challenge, but it was a privilege. 

So - my Rochester area friends who read my blog.  Working a phone bank?  Yeah - it's a time commitment and yeah, it's kind of terrifying.  But the Rochester group does a GREAT job training you to work the phones.  We spent an hour talking about the marriage amendment, some of the opposing viewpoints that are encountered, the importance of being kind to yourself when it came to tough phone calls ... the importance of having conversations with people regarding this issue.  While I wasn't 100% prepared for my first phone call and while I have yet to hit my stride, I felt reasonably confident as I made my way down the list of calls I needed to make.

Whether it's phone calling, door knocking, donating money, or just having the conversation with friends - I implore people to get involved.  This is going to be a close election.  See my numbers above - the majority of the people I talked to were for the marriage amendment.  A couple people hadn't really heard about it.  Out of 35 dials, I might have changed the mind of one voter - or at least got him on the road to thinking about the issue on a personal level beyond the abstract. 

You can find information about Minnesotans United for All Families here. 

As I said tonight on Facebook:  "We can move towards inclusion, tolerance, and love one conversation at a time, friends ..." Until this baby shows up, I'll work the phone banks again ... I do believe that I can make a difference.